A Letter to Isla: Before You Become a Big Sister

Posted on July 29, 2020

To our sweet, fiesty first born: thank you for choosing us to be your parents.

The other morning, while snuggling with you on the couch, you put your tiny hand on my belly and said “Hi little baby! You feeling okay in there?” and gave it a big kiss. You are SO ready for your upcoming promotion to big sister…but are we ready to see you grow up? There is so much joy in this process, but it also feels so bittersweet.

I vividly remember getting two lines on the pregnancy test just a few days before Christmas, and crying hard. Not out of happiness, nor fear (okay, maybe a little shock), but mostly due to the fact that you weren’t going to be the baby anymore.

For 3 years and (almost) 9 months, it’s just been the three of us. Your dad and I taking a million photos/videos, hanging on to every milestone and every word you say, and saying to each other at least 20 times a day “She’s just the cutest.”.

It’s also been filled with us being pushed to our limits with your tantrums, only to get choked up at an “I love you mom and dad!”, or even just watching you sleep. I will always remember the days of just us.

You changed our lives in the most challenging, joyful ways when you arrived on that foggy Thanksgiving morning almost 4 years ago. Each year with you has been such a learning experience for us, one that has taught us compassion, patience, sacrifice, and unconditional love. We’ve grown up a little with you, and we’re so much better for it.

Although this is our second go around with a baby, it will be a lot of firsts for you. It will be the first time in your life that you’ll have to share our attention, your toys, and your space. It will be a lot of change – and I expect that might feel a little scary or frustrating for you at first, but just know that we will do our best to make you feel just as loved as you are, and always have been. You were our first.

Now with just one month to go, we wait for our littlest one to arrive and complete our family. The idea of loving someone else as BIG as we love you feels impossible, but I know our hearts will grow, and just as you’ve been teaching us these last 4 years, you’ll show us the way this time, too.